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Post by Pat on Jan 22, 2007 14:54:46 GMT 1
I've just been sent a link for REAL downloads for your Aye Pod by someone who was looking in at the site a peerie meenit ago: www.ayepod.net/Och aye da noo....
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Post by benjiesmum on Jan 24, 2007 17:01:21 GMT 1
Heh, heh - you've got a way with words George. Like the dog ones.
Here's one for you:
A dog not only has a fur coat, but also pants!
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Post by benjiesmum on Jan 24, 2007 17:14:10 GMT 1
And what about:
Two peanuts were walking through a rough area of town and one was a-salted!!
or
Show me someone in denial, and I'll show you a person in Egypt up to their ankles in water!
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Post by benjiesmum on Jan 24, 2007 18:38:51 GMT 1
Awww!! You beat me to that one George!!! Except mine was a rugby ball. Nice try!!!
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dek69
New Magnie
Posts: 1
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Post by dek69 on Jan 25, 2007 13:25:51 GMT 1
What's black and blue and doesn't like sex?....
<mod edit: Offensive answer removed. Forum T&Cs state: 1. You agree, through your use of the Northmavine forum, that you will not post (or hyperlink to) any material or use language which is defamatory, abusive, vulgar, hateful, harassing, inciting of violence, obscene, profane, sexually orientated, threatening, invasive of a person's privacy, or in violation of ANY UK law as determined by us in our sole discretion.>
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Post by Pat on Jan 25, 2007 13:58:45 GMT 1
I have just noticed the post myself and agree totally with George. Not a good start as a first post to this forum dek69.
Please keep your posts in good taste!!!!!
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Post by benjiesmum on Jan 25, 2007 19:17:11 GMT 1
Hello dek69. Bit of a bad start...and never a joke. Try again and keep it in the bounds of good taste. . Agree with both the above.
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Post by Admin Mal on Jan 25, 2007 22:08:00 GMT 1
A pm has been sent to dek69.
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Post by MG on Jan 26, 2007 12:57:13 GMT 1
This one is for George, When he was born he was so ugly they slapped the doctor!
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Post by MG on Jan 26, 2007 14:33:49 GMT 1
Another baby joke for George:-
I was so ugly as a baby they fed me with a catapult !
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Post by MG on Jan 26, 2007 17:58:50 GMT 1
8-)Back in the Magnie again!!! Hi George,Alky,Benji et al..... Have you heard this one?.......... A businessman on his first trip to the States goes into a recommended bar at the top of a skyscraper. It's unusual feature is that the bar rotates. Anyway, in he goes and there is a solitary guy at the bar sipping a drink and the bartender polishing glasses. He orders drink for himself and the other guy one too. The other guy says" Thanks buddy! Did you know that this bar is most unusual in that you can climb out of the window and float and fly around without falling to the ground?" "Get away!" says the businessman, "you're pulling my leg!" "No,seriously it's true, it's all to do with the thermal updraughts from the other buildings. Look, I'll prove it to you." He goes to an open window, leaps out and lo!!!! He floats. He does this until the bar has done a full rotation and climbs back in. The businessman says, "Hey! That is absolutely brilliant!!! I've done white water rafting, bungee jumping, the whole white knuckle experience but I've never done that. I've just got to try it!" At which he goes to the window and jumps out. He plummets a 200 storeys to the ground. The bartender puts down his cloth and turns to the other guy and says " Do you know Superman you can be a real joker at times!" ;D Mine's a large dram of Glen Sullom - 25 month old!!!! Cheers!
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Post by benjiesmum on Jan 26, 2007 18:45:54 GMT 1
He! He! That's a good 'un mg. I've got one if I can get it right: (here goes!!! ) A blonde goes into the fabric department at John Lewis: Blonde: I need some curtain material please. A nice floral print if you've got one. Assistant: Certainly madam. What colour are you thinking of? Blonde: Well, I quite like the idea of pink and pale green to match the wallpaper in my office. Assistant: (He pulls a roll of pretty pink and green floral print off the shelf behind him.) What about this one madam? It's very popular with the ladies. Blonde: (Running it through her fingers) Yes! I like this one. Thank you - I'll take it! Assistant: How much would you like madam? Ten yards, twenty yards? Blonde: Oh no, not that much I need just a small piece - about 12" by 18". Assistant: That's a very small window. Are you sure you've got the right measurements? Blonde: (Looking at him as though he is the stupid one) Yes (roles her eyes to the ceiling) They're for my computer. Assistant: (Looking startled) For your computer? You don't need curtains for your computer!!!! Blonde: (Looking at the assistant as though he's got no brain) EEERRR yes!!! Yes I do!!! It's got WINDOWS hasn't it!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Post by heimdal on Jan 26, 2007 23:46:13 GMT 1
Paddy and Mick are walking down a street in London. Paddy happens to look in one of the shop windows and sees a sign that catches his eye.The sign said "Suits £5.00 each, Shirts £2.00 each, Trousers £2.50 per pair" Paddy says to his pal, "Mick, look! We could buy a whole lot of dose, and when we get back to Ireland, we could make a fortune. Now when we go into the shop, you be quiet, okay? Just let me do all the talking cause if they hear our accent, they might not be nice to us. I'll speak in my best English accent. "Roight y'are, Paddy, I'll keep me mouth shut, so I will.'says Mick. They go in and Paddy says, "I'll take 50 suits at £5.00 each, 100 shirts at £2.00 each, and 50 pairs of trousers at £2.50 each. I'll back up my truck and..."The owner of the shop interrupts, "You're from Ireland, aren't you?" "Well... yes," says a surprised Paddy. "How der hell d' y' know dat? "The owner says, "This is a dry cleaners.
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Post by benjiesmum on Jan 27, 2007 6:53:55 GMT 1
Nice one heimdal!!!
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Post by MG on Jan 27, 2007 9:29:06 GMT 1
Nice one Heimdal ;D ;D ;D ;D
Heres anither an'
Paddy goes into a scrapyard and asks, "Have you got any doors for a '95 Transit van?" "Yes " replies the assistant "they're £40 each" "But they're only £30 each down the road" says Paddy Assistant "Well why don't you go and buy them there then?" Paddy " They haven't got any" Assistant "I'll tell you what, when we haven't got any, we'll sell the them for £20" Paddy " OK, sor. I'll come back then then !"
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