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Post by mally on Mar 10, 2007 14:26:35 GMT 1
How Smart is Your Right Foot? This is so funny that it will boggle your mind. And you will keep trying at least 50 more times to see if you can outsmart your foot, but you can't. 1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles. 2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction. I told you so .....And there's nothing you can do about it This will keep the bairns (big and small ;D occupied for ooooh minutes )
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Post by Admin Mal on Mar 10, 2007 14:38:27 GMT 1
Hmph! ;D I wanted to be able to do it... but my foot is obviously linked by something invisible thread to my hand...
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Post by mucklelaalie on Mar 10, 2007 16:05:58 GMT 1
i feel like i'm bursting a bubble here... but... it didn't work. Foot goes clockwise... *draws six in air*... foot keeps going clockwise, hand drawing 6 goes anti-clockwise... maybe its the years of making the right hand playing something it doesn't want to against a left hand, with the right foot pedeling away... i dont know...
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Post by Admin Mal on Mar 10, 2007 21:06:43 GMT 1
How To Write Good ----------------- 1. Avoid alliteration. Always.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)
4. Employ the vernacular.
5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
7. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
8. Contractions aren't necessary.
9. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
10. One should never generalize.
11. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
12. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
13. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
14. Be more or less specific.
15. Understatement is always best.
16. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
17. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
18. The passive voice is to be avoided.
19. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
20. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
21. Who needs rhetorical questions?
22. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
(Author unknown)
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Post by Admin Mal on Mar 10, 2007 21:19:11 GMT 1
GLOSSARY OF ENGLISH/GERMAN MOTORING TERMS
Indicators - Die Blinkenleiten Tickentocken Bonnet - Pullnob und Knucklechoppen Speedometer - Der Egobooster und Linenschooter Exhaust - Spitzenpoppenbangentuben Clutch - Die Kuplink mit schlippen und schake Puncture - Die phlatt mit Bludyfuchen Learner - Die Twatten mit Elplatz Estate Car - Die Bagsmerroom Furshagginkinauto Parking Meter - Der Tennerpinscher und Klockenwerr Windscreen Wiper - Die Flippenflappenmuckenschpredder Footbrake - Der Edbangenonvindschreen Stoppen Gear Lever - Biggenstikken fur Kangeroochoppen Breathaliser - Die Puffeninto fur Pissenarsen Seatbelt - Die Klunkenklicken Frauleintrapper Headlights - Das Dippendontdazzelubastedd Exhaust Fumes - Der Koffenundschpittenpoluter Highway Code - Die Vipen fur Arsen Fog Warning - Die Puttenlegdownen und Fukkit Traffic Jam - Der Bluddifikken Dammundblastitt Rear Seat - Die Schpringentester Tyres - Flaatfahrts Backfire - Die Loudenbangenmekkenmejumpen Juggernaut - Der Fukkengrett Trukken Accident - Die Blinkenmessen Near Accident - Der Fukken near Schittenselfen Cyclist - Die Pedullpuschink Pilloken Skid - Der Bannanawaltzen Double White lines - Overtaken und Krunchen Double Yellow lines - Die Fukkenwarden mit Tikketgiven Pelican Crossing - Die Blinkenman und Footendownen Traffic Policeman - Die Bastadimjamsandwitch
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Post by heimdal on Mar 11, 2007 0:11:19 GMT 1
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Post by benjiesmum on Mar 11, 2007 7:13:58 GMT 1
How To Write Good (Author unknown) Someone's been reading "Eats, Shites and Leaves - Cr*p English and How to Use it" I think! Full of such witty wisdom. ;D ;D ;D Read this....!!!! Olny srmat poelpe can raed tihs. Cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses, you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh??? And I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt.
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Post by MG on Mar 11, 2007 9:14:17 GMT 1
;D ;D ;D
I wouldn't mind but benjie speaks like this as well !!!!!!!!!
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Post by Admin Mal on Mar 11, 2007 12:21:21 GMT 1
Is that sober or under-the-influence?
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Post by mally on Mar 14, 2007 13:52:54 GMT 1
A DAY WITHOUT LAUGHTER IS A DAY WASTED!!! A WOMEN was flying from Seattle to San Francisco. Unexpectedly, the plane was diverted to Sacramento along the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft the plane would re-board in 50 minutes. Everybody got off the plane except one lady who was blind. The man had noticed her as he walked by and could tell the lady was blind because her Seeing Eye dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of her throughout the entire flight. He could also tell she had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached her, and calling her by name, said, "Kathy, we are in Sacramento for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your > legs?" The blind lady replied, "No thanks, but maybe my dog would like to stretch his legs." Picture this: All the people in the gate area came to a complete standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a Seeing Eye dog! The pilot was even wearing sunglasses. People scattered. They not only tried to change planes, but they were trying to change airlines!
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Post by mucklelaalie on Mar 14, 2007 14:09:07 GMT 1
good god... thats seriously got to be removed... surely. please!
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Post by MG on Mar 14, 2007 14:12:28 GMT 1
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Post by mally on Mar 14, 2007 14:16:16 GMT 1
It was a sad day when Fred found his long lost brother.........
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Post by mally on Mar 14, 2007 14:18:49 GMT 1
Bad taste or what? In current parlance GROSS. oops sorry, that was the wrong pic. I have deleted it. It would seem that some joker has hacked into my photo folders and had a field day. The photo that was supposed to be showing was of a gorrila in a bikini inspecting his navel. I can only apologise for the pic that showed. I have reported the hacking to photobucket. Mal.
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Post by mally on Mar 15, 2007 3:16:06 GMT 1
Can you spot Geoffrey ?
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